Category Archives: Food

No d in refrigeration

My family and I have recently moved into a new permanent home.  It’s a good property and plenty of space for everyone.  I’m sitting in the living room writing this post surrounded by boxes full of things we still have yet to put away.  I’m from a military family so I’ve moved many times during my childhood. When you’re a kid, however, moving is much more of an adventure.  You pack some things, your parents do the most packing, and you wait until it’s the night before the move.  That night almost feels like christmas eve.  Everyone is sleeping on mattresses on the floor or in sleeping bags.  There’s no TV so we play card games while we eat our delivered dinner of pizza and drink from plastic cups.  We run through the empty house and marvel at all of the space that was cleverly hidden beneath our stuff. One last slide down the stairs in our pillowcase sleds and we go to sleep ready for the new house, the new place, our family adventure.

Oh how things change when you grow up. Moving sucks. Everything about it is stressful.  It’s so much work and even more so when children are involved.  You spend half of your energy just trying to get them to help out and stop whining. So you have twice as much crap to pack and none of the help. And we have horses and dogs and cats to boot.  Well, I’m not going to go into the nasty details.  I just wanted to illuminate what my life has been like for the past two weeks.

As we were moving into our new place we realized we were lacking in some of our regular daily necessities. We did not have the internet hooked up yet so that meant I could not get online at all unless I went to the local library during library hours.  I never had the occasion to do this, so for the past 2 weeks I could not mindless scroll through news sites, check my emails, or google every little question that popped into my head.  That wasn’t too bad, although, I terribly wanted to write emails to my friends. I also could not watch Netflix which I had an unhealthy addiction to anyway. So no TV, no internet. Not too bad.  I never had time for any of that anyway because I was either unpacking, building fences, rehabing stalls and chicken coops, walking the dogs, or doing normal daily chores from the moment I woke up till the moment I went to sleep.  All of this wasn’t the worst though.  Even with the manual hard labor, and yes it’s very hard labor, it wasn’t as bad as the fact that we have been without a refrigerator this entire time.

Just think about it for a minute.  Think of when there’s a bad thunderstorm and the powers out for like a day or two.  How much it sucks that you have no food besides that random can of soup. Well we have been living in that surreal fantasy land for 2 weeks. Finding something to eat for one person without using any perishables is challenging and a nuisance at worst.  Finding 3 meals a day for 4 people without access to refrigeration is stupid.  It brings a sobering meaning to living off the land and creative cooking. The main staple of our family diet is now bread and peanut butter. The chickens are super valuable for the eggs because besides nuts, eggs are our only good source of protein.  I have made homemade applesauce numerous times. We go out and pick up apples and pears from the ground for food. I can’t make anything in bulk that will go bad in a day, so basically nothing. If it’s cooked it has to be eaten. And we have to go grocery shopping almost every other day. The list goes like this: bananas, bread, oatmeal, peanut butter, coffee, baby bell cheese.  I did eat a zucchini for 3 days straight because it keeps fairly well on the counter. Now when I go grocery shopping I look at root vegetables and citrus fruit.  All of my frozen berries are being cared for in a neighbor’s freezer (thank god) and I count the minutes till we finally get that big beautiful chilling appliance.  The greatest household invention ever, because I wouldn’t mind shitting in a hole outside if I could come in to a well stocked fridge.

I leave you with some pictures of the move and of the kids cleaning out the stalls in the barn and ask you to think about how fantastic it is to live with refrigeration.  so fucking fantastic.

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sailor’s swig

Yes I know, I’m lame.  First post and everyone else has posted very in-depth, insightful, highly researched posts about important issues.  Well I’m not going down that road at all at the moment. My first post is going to be about something that has been on my mind for nearly a week now. That’s right folks, it’s a food post and more specifically it’s a smoothie post. Whoo Hoo! Get ready kids cause I’m gonna put the mmmm and oooo back in (wait for it….) smmmmoooothie.  haha oh i love myself.

Living as I do in Washington and/or Oregon, there is an abundance of fresh wonderful food, especially now at the end of summer. I mean it’s literally all around me.  Let me paint you a little picture.  I step out into the cool summer morning, fog is slowly creeping across the top of the evergreen trees, the birds are chirping, the horses are grazing in the pasture, and the chickens are shitting everywhere (free range is a bitch). And now I’m hungry. But soft what light through yonder window breaks. Why it is the light from our apple trees.  Okay they don’t glow but come on we have apple trees, that’s pretty cool huh. And if apples aren’t your cup of tea well we also have a yellow plum tree. I never even knew there were yellow plums!  Still not satiated? Then please direct your attention to the abundant blackberries that grow everywhere around here. I have literally been slapped in the face by these plants (on a run down the road).  They are begging to be eaten and around the northwest they grow all up and down the roads. But don’t eat those ones because they might have been sprayed. Luckily, this frugal lady has picked some (8lbs) from our yard  just for you to enjoy. And that my friends brings me to my smmmoooothie.

Ingredients:

1 Banana (fresh or frozen)

2 or 3 Kale Leaves (no ribs)

1 cup or so of Blueberries (fresh or frozen)

1 cup or so of Blackberries (fresh or frozen)

Splishy Splash of Milk (almond and soy are my personal favorites. If you use coconut milk then use a splish and not a splash, that shit is strong)

Directions:

Like you really need them. It’s a smoothie. But for you beginners out there, here they are:

Put all of the ingredients in a blender or food processor, put the lid on, and press the button.

Yay!! You’ve made a smoothie! Now just put a straw in it and enjoy.  Now some things to be said about this smoothie. It tastes great, no bones about it. However, if you are a child you might have problems with the texture as blackberries have seeds and kale doesn’t get pulverized into oblivion unless you have a juicer or a really n$ce blender. If you are an adult and have a problem with texture, grow up. If you are a child then feel free to strain the smoothie. I don’t because it’s a bitch and I’m an adult. Smoothies are not milkshakes.  Smoothies are a great way to enjoy amazing food like kale or spinach or fruit in liquid form. Give it a try, you will like it. Not because I’m a magician but because things like berries and kale are a really good combination. Nature makes it good, smoothie makes it fun.

I want to mention that this smoothie was made with no added sugar, no dairy products, and one fucking fantastic vegetable. So be proud of yourself, you made a great decision to make this smoothie and yes it tastes so good. Now I know some of you out there are like,” Alina what the fuck. Blueberries are expensive and blackberries don’t grow in my yard, you braggadocious skank.”  Yes I know, my grandparents have a blueberry farm so I’m sitting on 30lbs or so of blueberries in my freezer. But don’t let the high price of blueberries stop you from enjoying your smoothie! Smoothie is synonymous with substitute.  In other words, fuck that shit I’m using strawberries. Or fuck that shit I’m using cantaloupe.  Anybody got a mango? The possibilities are endless.  Experiment and try things out.  Now my children go forth into the great wide world of food and fuck some shit up.

Berry Kale Smoothie

Berry Kale Smoothie

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