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Come out come out wherever you are

Earlier today I had a wonderfully long, easy, fun conversation with Kacie, my best friend and fellow Vagenius.  A little back story for those who are unfamiliar with Kacie and I (pretty much the entire population besides Abby and Nan).

Kacie are I are the opposite sides of the same person.  I don’t feel completely myself if I’m not around her or I haven’t talked to her for a while.  When we do talk it feels as if my whole life was underwater and I am just now coming up for air.  She is my mental and spiritual oasis.  When we are together, whether literally or just through the magic of cell phones, I able to remember who am I; like she holds a mirror up to my soul so I can take a look at what’s missing or just to say hello.

Anywho, we were talking today and she was telling me about this person she has been spending time with.  He is a wonderful person, very kind, exciting, blah blah blah.  So she tells me that he Googled her name to see what came up, as one does when they need to find out about people.  I highly recommend doing this for anyone or anything.  For instance, did you know that when you Googled my name (it’s a secret) that you get a lot of sites about a French Erotica writer.  That’s right ladies and gents, I have the same name as a porn writer and SHE’S FRENCH!  So exciting.  Back to the story, Alina focus.

Well, he found this blog when he searched her name.  I couldn’t believe it, I had completely forgotten we started this thing almost 5 years ago!  And what an awesome name too, Vageniuses.  We had started this as a way to keep in touch with each other (I had just moved to Washington) and share things important to us with the most important people in our lives.  And it was so neat!  Going back through this blog and rereading our old posts was like digging up a time capsule.  Maybe people do this all the time with their social media sites like facebook and twitter or even instagram but I have none of those so this is really strange for me.  Hearing Kacie read to me things that I wrote was like hearing a different person.  Because we are all different people.  We’ve all been through more than any of us could have imagined in five years.  And how amazing is it that we can share with each other for everyone to see (or not).

So here I am Vagenuises.

Hands touching hands, reaching out, touching me. Sweet Caroline bah bah bah good times never seemed so good. So good! So good! So good!

If you are reading this and are thinking this lady is a lunatic then you’re probably right. JK YOU’RE crazy! Everyone loves that song!

But I know you have stories to tell and I want to hear them. So come on Kacie, Abby and Nan tell me something new.

 

I’m listening

 

120

Last week I took 2 rolls 35mm and a roll of 120 film to processed and printed at Blue Moon Camera in Portland. The 120 roll I had found not completely finished in a Yashica camera I haven’t seen in over a year. It was still packed in a box I thought I had lost along with my Rolleiflex. So many things were still in storage, mainly my things, that I hadn’t seen since the big move from Tennessee. Anyway, I couldn’t believe that I found them safely packed away and the yashica with film still in it, so I finished the roll and brought it in to be developed. I didn’t think I would get anything good off of it, I wasn’t sure if the film would be fogged or what was even on it. So I got it back and I looked at the pictures, only nine were old ones, and it felt like I was looking at ghosts of myself. It was so surreal to see these strange prints of a place I left only a year ago but seems as if it were decades. It’s a place that I can never go back to even though it makes up the biggest parts of me.

here are a few of them. i didn’t print them so sorry for the average print quality. it’s weird having someone else print your prints. I suppose it’s like a female gynecologist getting a pap smear. if she could do it herself she would. maybe not the best analogy but do you get my drift. a dentist getting a tooth pulled. an executioner going to guillotine. a cab driver taking a taxi.

kacie, abs, nan. i miss you

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No d in refrigeration

My family and I have recently moved into a new permanent home.  It’s a good property and plenty of space for everyone.  I’m sitting in the living room writing this post surrounded by boxes full of things we still have yet to put away.  I’m from a military family so I’ve moved many times during my childhood. When you’re a kid, however, moving is much more of an adventure.  You pack some things, your parents do the most packing, and you wait until it’s the night before the move.  That night almost feels like christmas eve.  Everyone is sleeping on mattresses on the floor or in sleeping bags.  There’s no TV so we play card games while we eat our delivered dinner of pizza and drink from plastic cups.  We run through the empty house and marvel at all of the space that was cleverly hidden beneath our stuff. One last slide down the stairs in our pillowcase sleds and we go to sleep ready for the new house, the new place, our family adventure.

Oh how things change when you grow up. Moving sucks. Everything about it is stressful.  It’s so much work and even more so when children are involved.  You spend half of your energy just trying to get them to help out and stop whining. So you have twice as much crap to pack and none of the help. And we have horses and dogs and cats to boot.  Well, I’m not going to go into the nasty details.  I just wanted to illuminate what my life has been like for the past two weeks.

As we were moving into our new place we realized we were lacking in some of our regular daily necessities. We did not have the internet hooked up yet so that meant I could not get online at all unless I went to the local library during library hours.  I never had the occasion to do this, so for the past 2 weeks I could not mindless scroll through news sites, check my emails, or google every little question that popped into my head.  That wasn’t too bad, although, I terribly wanted to write emails to my friends. I also could not watch Netflix which I had an unhealthy addiction to anyway. So no TV, no internet. Not too bad.  I never had time for any of that anyway because I was either unpacking, building fences, rehabing stalls and chicken coops, walking the dogs, or doing normal daily chores from the moment I woke up till the moment I went to sleep.  All of this wasn’t the worst though.  Even with the manual hard labor, and yes it’s very hard labor, it wasn’t as bad as the fact that we have been without a refrigerator this entire time.

Just think about it for a minute.  Think of when there’s a bad thunderstorm and the powers out for like a day or two.  How much it sucks that you have no food besides that random can of soup. Well we have been living in that surreal fantasy land for 2 weeks. Finding something to eat for one person without using any perishables is challenging and a nuisance at worst.  Finding 3 meals a day for 4 people without access to refrigeration is stupid.  It brings a sobering meaning to living off the land and creative cooking. The main staple of our family diet is now bread and peanut butter. The chickens are super valuable for the eggs because besides nuts, eggs are our only good source of protein.  I have made homemade applesauce numerous times. We go out and pick up apples and pears from the ground for food. I can’t make anything in bulk that will go bad in a day, so basically nothing. If it’s cooked it has to be eaten. And we have to go grocery shopping almost every other day. The list goes like this: bananas, bread, oatmeal, peanut butter, coffee, baby bell cheese.  I did eat a zucchini for 3 days straight because it keeps fairly well on the counter. Now when I go grocery shopping I look at root vegetables and citrus fruit.  All of my frozen berries are being cared for in a neighbor’s freezer (thank god) and I count the minutes till we finally get that big beautiful chilling appliance.  The greatest household invention ever, because I wouldn’t mind shitting in a hole outside if I could come in to a well stocked fridge.

I leave you with some pictures of the move and of the kids cleaning out the stalls in the barn and ask you to think about how fantastic it is to live with refrigeration.  so fucking fantastic.

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